No Tighty Whities for Forty Days and Nighties

A Personal Experience: Glenn Boozan

2008-02-22T12:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends and Enemies (because I don’t want to leave anyone out),

This past week or so has been a trying one. My roommate Brittainy recently informed me that Julia and I (and our fellow freeballers) have until March 23rd until we can wear undergarments again. Previously unaware of this fact, I must admit I was shocked to find out that we still have such a long way to go.
But nevertheless, we will be strong. Nevertheless, I will not be tempted to put on anything but pants. Nevertheless, I will longingly gaze at the top drawer of my dresser, wishing (oh so vainly) that I could have just one more day with its inhabitants. NEVERTHELESS we will keep fighting for what is right and just!
My passion unbridled, I’ve noticed a change in me. I’ve gotten used to the secrecy of going commando. No longer do I promenade down the streets of Boston, giggling to myself that no one knows my secret. The frivolity is gone. This challenge has become more serious than intended.

In my attempts at working through the suffering, I have collected along the way a list of songs that accurately portray what I’m experiencing. I’ve always felt that indulging in art is the best form of catharsis. Here, I give to you, faithful followers, a playlist:

1. No Panties – Trina
2. I’m Not Wearing Underwear Today – Avenue Q
3. Boy Shorts – Big Pokie Mr 815
4. The Panties – Mos Def
5. Underwear – Pulp
6. Getting Hit On At The Bank – The Briefs
7. Below The Belt – Nightriders
8. The Thong Song – Sisquó
9. Underneath Your Clothes – Shakira
10. Liberation – Earth, Wind, and Fire
11. Boxers – Gemma Fox
12. No Underwear (Clean Version) – Dru Down
13. Naked – Marquis Houston

Good work, Lent. You’ve successfully broken my spirit. I hope you’re happy.

Sincerely,

Glenn

Day 3: Over the Hump

2008-02-09T12:15:00.001-08:00

As they say in the world of nicotine addicts, the third day is the hardest. Wearing underwear is a lot like smoking, so, this makes sense.

Besides the difficulty of giving up something that is so close to us, we’ve been feeling a little judged and misunderstood. Here is a sampling of some of the reactions we’ve gotten:

“I am surprised every day, when I..I don’t know where I’m going with this.” – Noah Sylvan Balder, Julia’s boyfriend

“Guffaw.” – Masha Fishbeyn, Julia’s roommate

“Haha, ew that’s gross.” – Hilary J. Gordon, Glenn’s roommate

“I looked at the facebook page and said ‘whatever, this is stupid.’” – Andrew Ford, BU student

“That’s messed up” –Gage Boozan, Glenn’s brother

“Knock yourself out, kiddo.” – Phyllis, Julia’s mother

“What kind of emotionally or mentally depraved person would subject themselves to such an uncivilized act?” – Daniel G. Hartley, Glenn’s boyfriend

Well, Daniel, we are exactly that emotionally or mentally depraved person. And it’s been a rough couple of days.

Glenn’s experience with this event has had its ups and downs. “I’m walking around, just me and the pants, and I’m making eye contact with students and faculty, every one of them just assuming that I’m wearing underwear. At times, it seems as if I’m lying to everyone. I feel sneaky. It feels good.”

Julia’s experience has not been without it’s dark times. For instance, “my favorite pair of jeans now have a hole in the crotch, which renders them unwearable in everyday use. My roommate is judging me, my boyfriend is always giggling, and I am constantly on the chilly side. Also, ‘Hey guys, I’m not wearing underwear’ is not, in fact, an acceptable conversation starter.”

However, we still feel that the benefits outweigh the costs. Everyday, we feel a little more appreciative that we have been given the opportunity to wear underwear everyday. We feel the change, and not just in our pants. And isn’t that what Lent is all about?

Pre-Challenge

2008-02-07T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's been decided.

Julia and Glenn are celebrating Lent. And by celebrating, we mean giving up underwear for forty days and forty nights. Why?-you may ask. Why would you give up this seemingly trivial article of clothing?

First off, what people don’t realize is that to wear underwear is a privilege. Our cavemen ancestors didn’t have such luxuries, as well as many people in third world countries today. Don’t you think, then, that by us adding an unnecessary layer, we are being gluttonous and greedy? We choose to take a stand against this overindulgence.

Secondly, we as a society place too much importance in the hands of Victoria’s Secret, La Perla, and the like. Wearing underwear, when it comes down to it, is purely a vanity. Money spent on garter belts and boyshorts could easily be donated to worthier causes such as AIDS research and obesity awareness (Are YOU aware that obesity has become the leading cause of preventable death? It’s just science). Get your head out of the underwear drawer and say how-do to the world around you.

Finally, there is a water crisis in this country, in case you didn’t know. We wonder how many gallons of water you’re wasting each month hand washing those delicates. It is our social obligation; we’re responding to the call of duty. Mother Earth called, and we picked up the phone.

So the question remains: what are you doing for Lent? And more importantly: what are you doing for mankind?

So, without further ado…Welcome to the Commando Challenge.

Guidelines:
1. You may not wear underwear. This includes, but is not limited to:
a. Bikini style
b. Boyshorts
c. Thongs
d. Granny panties
e. Briefs
f. Boxer briefs
g. Boxers
h. Tighty whities
i. Garter belts
j. Dance belts
k. Edible underwear
l. Jock straps
2. Bras and sports bras are considered a necessity and may be worn.
3. In certain cases of emergencies such as anal discharges and surfing the crimson wave, emergency underwear may be implemented.
4. Although this is not an official rule, it is suggested that if a lady opts for a skirt, she should also wear leggings or tights.
5. If a person breaks the rules and wears underwear, they must admit their transgression and donate something to charity. You must also throw away a valued pair of your underwear.

We hope that everybody participating comes out of this experience with increased awareness about the world around them.

Godspeed.